Wednesday 16 October 2013

On Giving up.

No one likes a quitter, least of all when we are judging ourselves.

Being fearful of quitting, or 'giving up', is not a good enough reason to keep going. Acknowledging that it is 'Quitting time' can be harder than persevering and ask more of our courage and resilience than we can comfortably give.

Recently I have been forced into rethinking a venture that I have invested much time and effort and self into, leading me down a path of self recrimination and denial.
Why, I ask the universe, do we hold on so tight, when
Are you sure it's a good idea?

letting go is the logical and healthy answer?

Here are my thoughts, I would love to hear yours (universe and reader alike:)

  • Ego:  We have not learned to keep our endeavours and ourselves separate. We need to remember , we are not our jobs or our friends or our families. We are certainly not our successes or failures. 
  • We HATE being wrong: Seriously, do we need to label letting go and moving on as being wrong? The venture/ relationship/ idea may not have borne the fruit we envisaged, but I bet you have benefitted from the effort.
  • 'But I told people I was doing this?': People will have their own ideas about your decision. Some people will be sad for you, some people will be laughing in their hands, most people will be too busy worrying about their own 'stuff' to think about yours. Don't let potential embarrassment stand between you and your better life.
  • Fear: It is painful, when you have visualised your future one way, to let go of that story and start again. Who knows though, when you make space in your life you DO have the choice to fill it with something awesome. 
So here I am, letting go. I do feel sad and disappointed. I do feel just a little bit like a failure and that I have wasted my time.
The bit of my brain that is not absorbed in these thoughts however, is already contemplating the cool stuff I might do now..... 

Sunday 13 October 2013

Not Sleeping.... visualising

I am getting to it......
I love a good band wagon and I will admit to finding myself frequently inspired to try something new.... especially if it boasts life changing results (think Anthony Robins on a total gym 2000 wearing caffeine infused workout pants). It is the reason I avoid late night infomercials. Regular watching could bankrupt me!

Another sadder admission is that my band wagon jumping happens in extreme slow motion. I am 'the sloth' of uptake.
If I had a mantra it would be 'better late than never', but I don't, I haven't gotten around to that yet. Sigh.

While I can laugh about running my life in slow motion, it is not actually a great approach. I am the first to admit not getting much done leads to other problems, such as anxiety and lack of self belief.

Not being able to point to an achievement with, if not pride, at least ownership is not empowering.
It is, frankly, disappointing.


One bandwagon I have been thinking about for years, is the practice of visualisation.
This practice, so say its adherents, is key to real success in any area of life. Anything in life, after all, is created first in your thoughts. Seems like a good place to 'kick start' from!

My own thoughts on visualisation are simple;



  • Don't cheapen the process with focus on expensive things. While a lavish lifestyle might be a lovely result of success, is it really the point?
  • First spend some time uncovering your own values. I can't imagine committing to visualising anything that either seems contrary to my own life view, or simply does not 'float my boat'.
  • When you have the 'what' sorted out, spend some time writing down your visualisation script, otherwise it is too easy (for me anyway) to run off course and end up day dreaming.
  • Find time by yourself, it is NOT empowering to be asked to make a sandwich mid script!
I am visualising 'doing the work' at the moment. I am hoping that this is one case where I can really, and without a hint of irony, say 'better late than never'.