Making Work 'work' for the Migraine Sufferer

What work stress?

Wouldn't it be wonderful to be able to approach your workplace with a light heart and a clear mind? No worrying about having to take days off for migraines (or children, or other ills), just feeling good about what needs to be done that day.

This dream may seem miles away for the average worker, let alone one who gets Migraine Headaches.   Speaking from the perspective of a current migraine sufferer and a former Manager of a medium size workplace, I believe there are a few simple steps the average person with a chronic illness can take to make their workplace more supportive of their struggle.

•  Look for ways to highlight your contribution, not just the hours you have worked. Often high performers are just more effective than their peers, they are not necessarily the person who arrives at 6am and leaves at 10pm ,six days a week.
• Be openly proactive about your efforts to improve your condition (and by this I don't mean become a 'Migraine Bore'). Subtly let your boss and colleagues know you are active about your endeavours to defeat the Migraine plague.
• If your Boss is supportive and understanding of your condition and it's inherent difficulties, privately let them know you appreciate their assistance in your life.
• Investigate flexible working arrangements, are there extra hours you can work when you are well to compensate for those when you are not?
• Be supportive of your colleagues and their own issues, build a bank of good will, you will need to draw on it!
• If you find yourself in a particularly bad migraine phase, discuss this with your boss, maybe they will be willing to let you take annual leave to recover, helping alleviate the stress and guilt of taking lots of days off. This makes it easier for your boss too as they have more time to arrange projects and other staffing to suit your absence.
•  Remember to work on your own sense of self worth, it is hard to be effective at work if you are feeling guilty and unworthy because of your health.
• Finally, make sure you have 'your ladder on the right wall'. By this I mean, where you are able, invest your time and effort into work you believe in and enjoy. It is much easier to fight for the right to work when you genuinely do want to be there.

Demons at Work

When in the jungle, surrounded by hostile operatives, it is not really the time to start thinking about learning camouflage techniques or non lethal combat moves...

When your boss/ neighbour/ mother in law or land lord knocks on the door, again, not time to start the clean up, just so, when in the middle of a debilitating migraine spree it is not the time to think.... how can I cope with this?

Problem is, often we find ourselves with little choice but trying to manage our migraines from this very situation.
Picture this, you have already missed too many days this month at work, your guilt and stress levels are peaking and then..... another migraine hits. Your frustration and grief at the situation escalates as you envisage making yet another phone call to your employer letting them know you will not be in, again.

I bet this scenario seems familiar to many readers. As would the despair and hopelessness that often accompanies this situation.

Is there any way to manage this? On one side of the coin you are dealing with your bosses expectations and disappointment, and on the flip side you are probably angry with yourself because obviously it is all your fault.

You can win at work

This very situation was my own ugly challenge for all the years I worked out of the home. I have a list of a few solutions I have explored, and some I have just thought of but not tried. With all of these ideas however, I believe none of them will work unless you can recognise your own personal 'migraine demons'.
These 'demons' are all the nasty beliefs you have internalised about yourself because you were silly enough to get migraines. These are the beliefs that make you repeat behaviours that have not worked for you, give up too early with treatments because you lack the belief things can change, avoid pro activity at work because you don't feel like a good employee.

If these demons retain the upper hand, nothing will change because they cripple your will and resolve.
Next time I get a migraine, or a cluster of them, I am planning on tackling these beliefs head on. If I can wipe away the 'stories' I have attached to my migraines I can move successfully onto removing them altogether from my life.
Perhaps like me, other migraine sufferers would benefit from strengthening their mental approach, carrying confidence and self belief into their workplaces instead of giving a free ride to their 'migraine burden'.

Wanted: Mature worker, must have good attitude and Migraines.

Why not work from home?

The most stressful part of getting regular migraines, for me, has been work.

Trying to do a good job and be respected for what you do when your performance is undoubtedly affected not only by the occurrence of Migraines, but also the symptoms that can continue for days after you are 'fit' for work.
These symptoms can include (in my case) difficultly thinking of words, poor fine motor skills, trouble reading computer screens and fatigue. I call this combination of ills a 'Migraine Hangover'. All the annoying parts of being hungover, with none of the fun memories from the night before.

I have long been looking for Migraine friendly work and work places, so I have decided to publish a list of 'Migraine Friendly' jobs. Perhaps you will be able to see where I have been less than 100% serious.

1. Product tester for a mattress manufacturer.
2. Flight Traffic Controller (apparently they don't want staff to come in even if they feel slightly off.... much easier to blend into the crowd here).
3. Nanny for mature age children.
4. Blogger.
5. Many on line opportunities; including data entry, share trader, you tube video rater.
6. Be 'The Boss'. 

All jokes aside, the topic of Migraines and work is a very serious one for millions of people, and one that I will examine, equally seriously, over the coming posts.

If you want to annoy a migraine sufferer read on....

Feel like I need to lighten up today..... so I thought I would share the top most infuriating things people have said to me about Migraines.

1. If you concentrated more on your meditation you wouldn't get migraines any more! (said with force and conviction)
2. Let me guess, you have a migraine right? sigh.
3. Are you vomiting? No? Then you don't have a migraine. (Said the 'medical expert')
4. I never get headaches. But I eat well and don't drink coffee.
5. Wow, at work again today... that must be a record. (read with sarcasm in place).
6. You need to give up coffee, cheese, wine, bread, sleeping in, stressful situations, chocolate and chicken... then you won't get any more migraines. (ahhhh.... probably accurate but I feel like they just missed adding in breathing)

I would LOVE to hear other peoples annoying comments (not directed at me mind)... let me know what people have said to raise your hackles. 

Lets giggle at ignorance for a change.

The Illusion of Control

While I stop a long way short of saying Migraines are a good thing in my life, they do teach the occasional life lesson.
The biggest lesson I have learnt over years of Migraine attacks that have been random, frequent, infrequent, clustered, isolated, inconvenient, and everything in between, is that control is definitely an illusion.
Prior to examining the knots that being a Migraine sufferer has tied in my mind and my version of events, I interpreted this lack of control as simply 'I am unreliable'.
This belief has had wide ranging impacts on the way I live my life and I am sure many people can identify.
When I started senior school, I had a Migraine every single day for three weeks...wow, I am finding just thinking about this upsetting. I remember my illness was discussed in class between students and Teachers. Probably, this was the first time where Migraines really impacted on my ability to achieve. The first time where the frequency of their occurrence actually mattered. Previously, Migraines were painful  nauseating and upsetting, but beyond that the impacts were limited.
Since school I have had various jobs, at various levels of responsibility. Let me tell you.... in these workplaces, my Migraines mattered.

Migraines impact can undermine at work

I have been lucky in that for the most part my supervisors and bosses have been remarkably understanding and accommodating, with only the odd person who has been difficult and in a few cases cruel.
It is very difficult to reconcile the need to do a job well and be seen as a valuable contributor with being much more likely to need time off than the average employee. This reconciliation is maddeningly difficult when you already view yourself as unreliable.
It is easy to see how this idea can develop, especially if you are unlucky enough to be surrounded by doubters and people who resent the need to take time off for migraines (and did you really have a migraine anyway? You were fine this morning and you're telling me your suddenly sick now?).
The truth is I still struggle very much with this feeling of not being a good employee, even though I now understand that for anyone control of the uncontrollable is not possible.
As a result of this struggle I have chosen to work for myself, but I would love to develop my approach and views to the point where the idea of working for some one else becomes an option that does not scare me to death.
Recognising that the illusion of control applies to everyone, not just people with chronic illness is a good place to start.

More on the Migraine Mind

I am just about sure that for me there is a link between a sense of well being and activity. Not only physical activity, but any purposeful endeavour with measurable results.

Anxiety and depression attack with lassitude and heaviness of thought and movement. Activity by its very nature seems to fight back against this malaise, dispelling heaviness with movement and distraction.

For me, being aware of this link and acting on it are two very different beasts. Forcing movement and achievement while feeling anxious and 'heavy' is difficult at times seemingly hopeless (note the language of anxiety and the 'blues').

As an avid reader I am often looking for books that will help me get moving and create a lifestyle that will keep the anxiety at bay, The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, is an example of one such book that I have found inspiring in the past, offering practical insights and options that can be rolled out over the course of a year. Indeed I have read a plethora of great books, that are truly fabulous in their advice and inspiration.

But reading is NOT action, action needs to be taken not merely considered. Darn it.

So, its go time! The first thing I am changing up to help create a peaceful and purposeful mind is (drum roll please) my morning routine. Here I am working from the theory of 'getting off on the right foot'. For me, as a start, I am going to implement three simple habits.

1) Completing a few rounds of 'Salute to the Sun' before breakfast.
2) Getting up earlier to enjoy some peace before the daily craziness.
3) Setting some daily goals.... in the morning.

I know these ideas sound simplistic, but I am hopeful that these positive habits will have a big effect across my day, even if this effect is simply feeling proud that I have been able to create some positive habits to help calm the anxious mind.

Parenting through the Migraine

Today was a 'migraine day', raising for me the ongoing issue of parenting through the Migraine.

It makes for a difficult day, even if, as in this case, the migraine is a level 5/10 and reasonably short in duration.
My children are, well, typical children. Loving and caring and thoughtful, until they forget... and start being noisy and crazy and cranky. As a Mum who quite frequently is struck down with a migraine, I do feel sorry for my children, especially during the school holidays, when several days of boredom may follow each other while I am quiet and pained and grizzly.

I would love to hear from people how they cope and keep their children entertained while suffering from migraine, or any other temporarily debilitating illness.

Hope is always present however, in the form of raising empathetic and kind children. Perhaps having experienced chronic illness they will be more understanding adults when dealing with similarly afflicted people.

Or perhaps, like me, they will be so BORED with the ongoing problem they will have no patience with it at all!! Again, all parenting tips welcome!!