On Giving up.

No one likes a quitter, least of all when we are judging ourselves.

Being fearful of quitting, or 'giving up', is not a good enough reason to keep going. Acknowledging that it is 'Quitting time' can be harder than persevering and ask more of our courage and resilience than we can comfortably give.

Recently I have been forced into rethinking a venture that I have invested much time and effort and self into, leading me down a path of self recrimination and denial.

Why, I ask the universe, do we hold on so tight, when

Are you sure it's a good idea?

letting go is the logical and healthy answer?

Here are my thoughts, I would love to hear yours (universe and reader alike:)

• Ego:  We have not learned to keep our endeavours and ourselves separate. We need to remember , we are not our jobs or our friends or our families. We are certainly not our successes or failures. 
• We HATE being wrong: Seriously, do we need to label letting go and moving on as being wrong? The venture/ relationship/ idea may not have borne the fruit we envisaged, but I bet you have benefitted from the effort.
• 'But I told people I was doing this?': People will have their own ideas about your decision. Some people will be sad for you, some people will be laughing in their hands, most people will be too busy worrying about their own 'stuff' to think about yours. Don't let potential embarrassment stand between you and your better life.
• Fear: It is painful, when you have visualised your future one way, to let go of that story and start again. Who knows though, when you make space in your life you DO have the choice to fill it with something awesome. 

So here I am, letting go. I do feel sad and disappointed. I do feel just a little bit like a failure and that I have wasted my time.

The bit of my brain that is not absorbed in these thoughts however, is already contemplating the cool stuff I might do now..... 

Not Sleeping.... visualising

I am getting to it......

I love a good band wagon and I will admit to finding myself frequently inspired to try something new.... especially if it boasts life changing results (think Anthony Robins on a total gym 2000 wearing caffeine infused workout pants). It is the reason I avoid late night infomercials. Regular watching could bankrupt me!

Another sadder admission is that my band wagon jumping happens in extreme slow motion. I am 'the sloth' of uptake.
If I had a mantra it would be 'better late than never', but I don't, I haven't gotten around to that yet. Sigh.

While I can laugh about running my life in slow motion, it is not actually a great approach. I am the first to admit not getting much done leads to other problems, such as anxiety and lack of self belief.

Not being able to point to an achievement with, if not pride, at least ownership is not empowering.

It is, frankly, disappointing.

One bandwagon I have been thinking about for years, is the practice of visualisation.
This practice, so say its adherents, is key to real success in any area of life. Anything in life, after all, is created first in your thoughts. Seems like a good place to 'kick start' from!

My own thoughts on visualisation are simple;

• Don't cheapen the process with focus on expensive things. While a lavish lifestyle might be a lovely result of success, is it really the point?
• First spend some time uncovering your own values. I can't imagine committing to visualising anything that either seems contrary to my own life view, or simply does not 'float my boat'.
• When you have the 'what' sorted out, spend some time writing down your visualisation script, otherwise it is too easy (for me anyway) to run off course and end up day dreaming.
• Find time by yourself, it is NOT empowering to be asked to make a sandwich mid script!

I am visualising 'doing the work' at the moment. I am hoping that this is one case where I can really, and without a hint of irony, say 'better late than never'.

The Daily Drift

Jellyfish are built for drift, they move with the currents and the tides in beautiful clusters of life constantly in gentle motion.
Drifting is great for Jellyfish, but what about people?

Is there anything really wrong with 'going with the flow', or seeing where life takes you?

If drifting for you means remaining open to opportunity, not creating attachments to soul sapping endeavours and allowing exploration to the edges of your journey, then drift.

If your drifting is aimless however, the anxious and unsatisfied squirming in your gut should be answer enough.

Om, and other important life decisions

'Beware: Currently experiencing meditation desperation'

I am desperate to start meditating, (yes I see a certain irony in that comment).
The idea of spending some time alone, in peace, unsnarling the knots in my mind is beyond appealing, it seems, well, necessary.

I have downloaded some meditations to try and am ready to get on with it. Only small problem is finding this elusive and mystical 'alone time'. The times I have available to me are after 10pm and before 5am, both time frames rife with the risk of snoozing rather than meditating.

What to do? Any ideas? Is it necessary to meditate everyday to benefit? Am I being a sook about the times available?

I'm off to do some meditation investigation, I will keep you posted.

The Daily Thirty

Here is a question, how late is too late in your day to exercise?
So far I have been a pretty good daily 30 adherent (as I should be on day one of the Daily 30 mission), I have written, (doing it right now as a matter of fact), I have played, I have worked on my business....... but somehow I have managed to get from 6am to 9pm without doing ANY exercise!

What to do? My lazy side (which has obviously been in charge for most of the day) is saying the cause is lost, at least for today.
So tell me, what are your thoughts? Is the effort more important that the possible sleep affecting impacts? Or should I know when to call it quits?

Ideas without follow through? Pointless.....

I think that since I have started blogging my subconscious has had a bit of a panic attack.
Not that I am judgemental of its' concerns, after all I do have some track record of starting projects and then realising months, if not years later that I have not given said project any thought in, well, months or years.
This panic attack has manifested in a great eruption of advice and thoughts to be extracted from my mind and recorded before this whole blogging thing is forgotten too (or so the fear goes).

Problem is, I have discovered that I have written so many things to do, with no follow through.
As soon as one idea is down in print, I have moved onto the next without so much as a backward glance, or even a dot point implementation plan.
This is not progress! This is the brain equivalent of bureaucratic red tape.

 'You must not attempt any self improvement until ALL ideas have been logged, recorded and evaluated.'

Never one to listen to the 'Man', I am rebelling and taking on one previously blogged challenge this week. Heck, if all goes well I might even try another one next week! Take that, mental volcano!
Taking inspiration from my post The best week of my life I am going to incorporate the daily 30 into my week. That's 30 minutes exercise, 30 minutes playing, 30 minutes working on my business and 30 minutes writing.
The challenge will be time, as it always is. I might have to revisit my plan to rise earlier everyday as well........

7 Compulsory Life Experiences

Some people have a bucket list or a stack of to do's, some people have regrets and disappointments. 

Being the bossy type, I have a list of 'compulsory life experiences'. Some of these have a cheerful tick in the 'done' box, others not so much.
Some of these experiences are once only deals, others are secret attempts to build good habits through successes. Some have nothing to do with success and a whole lot more to do with being alive. You will notice that my list is not so much about 'exactness' more about 'approach'. I believe that our imagination for what is possible can be far outstripped by reality.
Read my bossy list, then tell me your own 'compulsory life experiences'. I'm not shy about taking on other peoples ideas:)

Compulsory life Experiences

My outside home

• Adopt a 'wilderness': I don't mean this in a 'take responsibility' kind of way, though that is fine too. I simply mean, find somewhere outside, preferably where nature still has more sway than the lawn mower and make it your place. Become familiar with its terrain, go there to relax. Begin to associate it with a 'blissed out' sensation. Maybe it is close to home, maybe it is home, perhaps it is far away and you can get there only with effort. Either way, connect with this place and build a  home for yourself outside of the four walls.
• Follow it through to the end: I don't care what it is, for once in your life (or maybe the hundredth time) just finish something through to the end. Finish the project with as much passion and detail and commitment as you had at the start when it was shiny and new and no obstacles were on the horizon. Everyone should enjoy this feeling of completion without regrets.
• Be healthy: Wouldn't it be a shame to move through your adult life without ever being as healthy as you can. Not once looking at your movement and your diet and your addictions. Don't be this person, make at LEAST one period of your life where you can look and say, I am at my peak health right now. 
• Pursue a Passion: No, don't just stalk someone you fancy. That is not legal in most countries. Spend more time doing something you love. Whether it be sporty, artistic, altruistic or domestic. Just spend more time on it. 
• Love someone: I mean actual love, not romantic love. I mean good for you and good for them, not selfish love. This needs to be experienced.
• Focus on kindness: Life is always better with kindness, whether you are on the giving or receiving end. It is always better.
• Go somewhere amazing as often as you can: It might not be in another country or even another city (though that would be cool), just somewhere that inspires wonder.

What to forget to improve your day

Normally my penchant for forgetfulness is not that great. I forget friends birthdays, appointments, LOTS of things my husband asks me to do and a whole other array of mundane tasks.

Sometimes, just occasionally, my forgetful mind works in my favour. In honour of this I have compiled a list of 'Great moments in forgetting', hopefully I have remembered to put them all in.....


Great Moments in Forgetting:

• Forgetting to pack my kindle charger for a weekend away: This forgetting moment speaks directly to my reading addiction. Ice Caps could melt and I still would not have tired of reading. While initially sparking panic and even hyperventilation, this forgetting opens up whole new possibilities for my time. Perhaps I could even go outside?
• Forgetting to weigh myself in the morning: Lets just assume the best eh? Probably won't matter if I sneak a few chocolate bars today.
• Forgetting what was said after a couple of wines: If neither of us can remember, I say it does not matter.
• Forgetting I was cranky yesterday: Enough said, lets have a better day. I call this one 'letting go by omission'. 
• Forgetting I have gone 'gluten free': Not great to permanently forget this one, but can be helpful when faced with fresh baked bread.....
• Forgetting your worries: Usually achieved through total immersion in something (or someone) you love. This one can be lovely.
• Forgetting my Camera: Recording moments for posterity is wonderful, but so is coming out from behind the lense and actually experiencing them.

There are so many times when forgetting can open up your day in unexpected ways...... just remember to appreciate what comes, or at the very least enjoy rolling your eyes in dismay.