On Giving up.

No one likes a quitter, least of all when we are judging ourselves.

Being fearful of quitting, or 'giving up', is not a good enough reason to keep going. Acknowledging that it is 'Quitting time' can be harder than persevering and ask more of our courage and resilience than we can comfortably give.

Recently I have been forced into rethinking a venture that I have invested much time and effort and self into, leading me down a path of self recrimination and denial.

Why, I ask the universe, do we hold on so tight, when

Are you sure it's a good idea?

letting go is the logical and healthy answer?

Here are my thoughts, I would love to hear yours (universe and reader alike:)

• Ego:  We have not learned to keep our endeavours and ourselves separate. We need to remember , we are not our jobs or our friends or our families. We are certainly not our successes or failures. 
• We HATE being wrong: Seriously, do we need to label letting go and moving on as being wrong? The venture/ relationship/ idea may not have borne the fruit we envisaged, but I bet you have benefitted from the effort.
• 'But I told people I was doing this?': People will have their own ideas about your decision. Some people will be sad for you, some people will be laughing in their hands, most people will be too busy worrying about their own 'stuff' to think about yours. Don't let potential embarrassment stand between you and your better life.
• Fear: It is painful, when you have visualised your future one way, to let go of that story and start again. Who knows though, when you make space in your life you DO have the choice to fill it with something awesome. 

So here I am, letting go. I do feel sad and disappointed. I do feel just a little bit like a failure and that I have wasted my time.

The bit of my brain that is not absorbed in these thoughts however, is already contemplating the cool stuff I might do now..... 

Not Sleeping.... visualising

I am getting to it......

I love a good band wagon and I will admit to finding myself frequently inspired to try something new.... especially if it boasts life changing results (think Anthony Robins on a total gym 2000 wearing caffeine infused workout pants). It is the reason I avoid late night infomercials. Regular watching could bankrupt me!

Another sadder admission is that my band wagon jumping happens in extreme slow motion. I am 'the sloth' of uptake.
If I had a mantra it would be 'better late than never', but I don't, I haven't gotten around to that yet. Sigh.

While I can laugh about running my life in slow motion, it is not actually a great approach. I am the first to admit not getting much done leads to other problems, such as anxiety and lack of self belief.

Not being able to point to an achievement with, if not pride, at least ownership is not empowering.

It is, frankly, disappointing.

One bandwagon I have been thinking about for years, is the practice of visualisation.
This practice, so say its adherents, is key to real success in any area of life. Anything in life, after all, is created first in your thoughts. Seems like a good place to 'kick start' from!

My own thoughts on visualisation are simple;

• Don't cheapen the process with focus on expensive things. While a lavish lifestyle might be a lovely result of success, is it really the point?
• First spend some time uncovering your own values. I can't imagine committing to visualising anything that either seems contrary to my own life view, or simply does not 'float my boat'.
• When you have the 'what' sorted out, spend some time writing down your visualisation script, otherwise it is too easy (for me anyway) to run off course and end up day dreaming.
• Find time by yourself, it is NOT empowering to be asked to make a sandwich mid script!

I am visualising 'doing the work' at the moment. I am hoping that this is one case where I can really, and without a hint of irony, say 'better late than never'.

The Daily Drift

Jellyfish are built for drift, they move with the currents and the tides in beautiful clusters of life constantly in gentle motion.
Drifting is great for Jellyfish, but what about people?

Is there anything really wrong with 'going with the flow', or seeing where life takes you?

If drifting for you means remaining open to opportunity, not creating attachments to soul sapping endeavours and allowing exploration to the edges of your journey, then drift.

If your drifting is aimless however, the anxious and unsatisfied squirming in your gut should be answer enough.

Om, and other important life decisions

'Beware: Currently experiencing meditation desperation'

I am desperate to start meditating, (yes I see a certain irony in that comment).
The idea of spending some time alone, in peace, unsnarling the knots in my mind is beyond appealing, it seems, well, necessary.

I have downloaded some meditations to try and am ready to get on with it. Only small problem is finding this elusive and mystical 'alone time'. The times I have available to me are after 10pm and before 5am, both time frames rife with the risk of snoozing rather than meditating.

What to do? Any ideas? Is it necessary to meditate everyday to benefit? Am I being a sook about the times available?

I'm off to do some meditation investigation, I will keep you posted.

Where do you find the time (AND the energy)?

'If I have the time, I can't be bothered'

It may come as a surprise for anyone who has read  multiple posts from this blog to learn that I have just taken the plunge and returned to work.

Better with Beats:)

Although beside the point, it also is the source of my recent time and motivation problems.
Basically the problem is this.... If I have the time to do the mundane tasks in my day, I can't be Bothered.
If I am honest, I am starting the restent the tedium of the cleaning and washing and folding and making and cooking and doing that falls (quite fairly) to me.
I am sure that this feeling is common amongst many working (or not) women and men, despite this I hope that there is a different choice to make around this.
In the meantime, I am strapping on my headphones, loading up some music with a beat and getting into it.


................................................................................................................................................................


Much, much later..... remind me, less whining and more doing stuff with headphones on in future. As usual, it is the thinking, and not the action that is the real problem. Cleaning is done and dare I say it, I actually had some fun (cringe) dance cleaning.
I think I might actually be a genius, for confirmation see The Best Week of My Life, where I make public my 'dance cleaning' ideas:)

The Daily Thirty

Here is a question, how late is too late in your day to exercise?
So far I have been a pretty good daily 30 adherent (as I should be on day one of the Daily 30 mission), I have written, (doing it right now as a matter of fact), I have played, I have worked on my business....... but somehow I have managed to get from 6am to 9pm without doing ANY exercise!

What to do? My lazy side (which has obviously been in charge for most of the day) is saying the cause is lost, at least for today.
So tell me, what are your thoughts? Is the effort more important that the possible sleep affecting impacts? Or should I know when to call it quits?

Ideas without follow through? Pointless.....

I think that since I have started blogging my subconscious has had a bit of a panic attack.
Not that I am judgemental of its' concerns, after all I do have some track record of starting projects and then realising months, if not years later that I have not given said project any thought in, well, months or years.
This panic attack has manifested in a great eruption of advice and thoughts to be extracted from my mind and recorded before this whole blogging thing is forgotten too (or so the fear goes).

Problem is, I have discovered that I have written so many things to do, with no follow through.
As soon as one idea is down in print, I have moved onto the next without so much as a backward glance, or even a dot point implementation plan.
This is not progress! This is the brain equivalent of bureaucratic red tape.

 'You must not attempt any self improvement until ALL ideas have been logged, recorded and evaluated.'

Never one to listen to the 'Man', I am rebelling and taking on one previously blogged challenge this week. Heck, if all goes well I might even try another one next week! Take that, mental volcano!
Taking inspiration from my post The best week of my life I am going to incorporate the daily 30 into my week. That's 30 minutes exercise, 30 minutes playing, 30 minutes working on my business and 30 minutes writing.
The challenge will be time, as it always is. I might have to revisit my plan to rise earlier everyday as well........